NEVER HOLD A GRUDGE, ALWAYS FORGIVE

It has been almost exactly one year since I have added to this blog site.  Some health reasons, only one of them was even possibly life threatening, and most of them dental problems.  It was the continually occurring events which seemed to drain me of energy and interest  to do anything that was not absolutely necessary, such as payment of bills.

Now at the  age of 92, I find myself the only one left of my generation among siblings, cousins, in-laws.,and of course my wise and loving husband, Scott W. Jeffery, Sr.  I miss them very much.  All too often I wish I could have a discussion with one of them or share a family event.  Scott,Sr., would so enjoy seeing  how well our children have turned out, as well as watching our grandchildren grow into adults and even the joy of once again having babies in the family in our two great grandsons., Oscar David and Charles Scott Delgado.

The new culture with its social mores are much different from my generation and it is  challenging for me.  Some I really like, such as the wonderful opportunities for women today in business and medicine, etc.  Others I do not pretend to understand.  I do recognize, however, every generation has a right to form their own opinions and choose their battles to fight.  Also I appreciate that they have parents to advise and guide them.

Nevertheless, every so often I send off an email or make a phone call with advice from my elderly view point.  I work hard against my tendency to have a “now hear this! ” tone in my written page or in my telephone voice. This is when I dearly miss having a conversation with my husband or other of my peers in my family.  I do try to only get involved with such matters that I think transcend cultural changes, such as family unity, the value of  corporate Christian faith, kindness,

Recently talked with a family member who has always been vulnerable.  She feels very hurt by treatment from other family members, and sometimes perhaps justifiably so.  However, I so want to make her understand that anger is counterproductive and emotionally destructive.  I know because several times I made this mistake myself until one day I had a sort of epiphany, realizing that the one I had hurt the most with this attitude was myself.

I have two quotes which have helped me:

“Don’t be angry because you cannot make people the way you want them to be, because it is difficult to  make yourself the person you would like to be.”

“We cannot control the response from other people but we can control our response to them.  Always in our response do what is right in love and forgiveness.”  Then  move on. Never repay a wrong with another wrong. Do not cling to old resentments.  Waste of time and emotional energy.